Words Matter

The only co-parenting tool with live monitored communication.

Live Monitored Communication

Our co-parenting tool provides a means of safe, secure, and live monitored communication. Before your messages are sent to the other party, they are reviewed by our trained review specialists to ensure compliance with our communication guidelines. This prevents any aggressive, inappropriate, or harassing communications so conversations stay productive. 

Example Review

Drag the divider below to see an example of a submitted response versus the revised, forwarded communication.

SUBMITTED

Approved-Communication-08.07.19Rejected-Communication-08.07.19

REVISED

Co-Parenting Tools at Your Fingertips

SHARED CALENDAR

Eliminate confusion by coordinating child events and parenting time schedules.

SHARED EXPENSE REPORT

Stay organized by tracking all extraordinary reimbursable expenses pertaining to the child(ren).

SHARED LIBRARY

Store and share all important documents such as medical records, court orders, pcitures, etc.

PROFESSIONAL ACCESS

Get help from the professionals you trust. Grant access with the click of a button.​

For Parents

Our live communication review will reduce the stress of co-parenting, and promote a healthy conversation necessary for shared parenting.

For Professionals

Harness the power of oversight with access to all client communications.

What Our Subscribers Say

Disclaimer: These are real Civil Communicator subscribers. Their names have been changed for privacy purposes. Please contact us if you would like to personally be in touch with any of these subscribers.

Bank level SECURity

SHA-256 and AES-256 encryption. SOC 3 and ISO 27001 Certified. Encryption in transit & encryption at rest. HIPPA compliant.

COURT APPROVED

Court ordered and recommended over other platforms for high conflict, domestic violence, and PPO cases because of our live communication review.

Recommended by Professionals

Attorneys, Therapists, Decision Makers, Investigators, and Parental Responsibility Evaluators all recommend Civil Communicator.

Communication Guidelines

Communication Should be Brief, Informative, and to the point.

Communication should be focused on coordinating parenting responsibilities and informing the other parent of “Need to Know” information about the child.

If you follow these simple communication guidelines, your communication will be positive, productive and well received.

We highly recommend…

  • Bullet Style format – separate your points on separate lines.
  • Single Topic per conversation.
  • Respond to an Existing Conversation rather than starting a New Conversation.
  • Ask a question rather than accusing or assuming.
  • Avoid Lengthy Communications.
  • Avoid being Repetitive.
  • Use “I” statements rather than “You” statements.


If the other party says “I don’t want to talk about this”, or they have Already Responded, or they have Closed a Conversation, it is best to Let it Go. Trying to Force someone to talk about something they do not wish to discuss typically will not advance the conversation.

The Subject Title should contain as few words as possible and summarize what the conversation is about. Be careful not to include a message in the subject title.



Documenting

Communication Should not be used for the purpose of “documenting” for an upcoming court case or trying to prove what a good parent you are being or micromanaging the other parent. What goes on during your parenting time, should typically stay with your parenting time. If it does not affect the other parent or is not something the other parent needs to know to co-parent, then it should not generally be something that is communicated within this forum. If the children are old enough, let them be the ones to share their experiences with the other parent

Greeting / Closing

Since the communication is only between the two subscribers, and terms of endearment could be interpreted as demeaning or derogatory, there is no need to start each communication with a Greeting (Hi, Hello, Dear Blank, etc.). Likewise, there is no need for a Closing. i.e. Sincerely, Yours Truly, Your Name. The result is a much easier and efficient form of communication. For the same reasons, please do not refer to the other party by name within the communication.


Communication should not be:

    • Confrontational
    • Argumentative
    • Harassing
    • Threatening
    • Directing
    • Repetitive
    • Emotionally Charged
    • Passive-Aggressive


Communication should not begin with or include:

    • You
    • You should
    • You need to
    • You always
    • Unfortunately
    • As I’ve told you before…
    • Additionally…
    • I’m confused…


Communication should not include:

    • Greeting or a Closing
    • Giving the other party a list of “To Do” items.
    • Repeating conversations you may have had or going to have with your Attorney or a Professional.
    • Informing the other party of Future Legal Actions.
    • Tattling – Informing the other party that you are going to contact the Police, Social Services, etc. “I’m going to tell…”
    • Possessive Language – Referring to the child(ren). i.e. My Daughter or My Son.
    • Hearsay – Repeating something your child has told you. “The child said that you fed them candy all weekend…”
    • All CAPS or Special Characters !%*#%
    • Repeating Statements – “As I’ve already told you…”
    • Answering a Question with a Question.
    • Unnecessary Information – “Today is Sunday” or “Our child is 7 years old” or “I will not see our child due to your vacation days”


Communication should not be used for:

    • A back and forth Chit-Chat, like text messaging.
    • Pleasantries – “Have a nice day.”
    • “Tooting” your own horn about what a wonderful parent you are, etc.
    • Notifying the other party of Unnecessary Information.
    • Documenting – “You were 2 min late yesterday”

Quick Communication Test

Ask yourself these few questions before selecting the “Submit” button:

  • Does the communication include a Pleasantry or a Greeting/Closing?
  • Does the communication come across as Argumentative or Confrontational?
  • Does the communication “Push a Little Button“?
  • Does the communication include any Documenting statements?
  • Does the communication include any Hearsay? or make Assumptions?
  • Does the communication include information the other party should Already Know?


If the answer is “Yes” to any of these questions, please consider re-drafting your communication to bring it into compliance with the above guidelines.



Our reviewers take the above-recommended communication guidelines into consideration when reviewing communication content. These are not absolute rules. It is the communication as a whole, and how that communication fits within the conversation, that drives the final review decisions. Everything is taken into context in the communication review process. While we appreciate the fact that at sometimes the review process may yield inconsistent results, given the complexities of communication in general, this is a necessary and logical result. 
Also of note, we tend to leave communications dealing with medical or child welfare issues unedited to the extent possible while still maintaining a civil and productive conversation.